Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
