I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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