If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
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i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
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I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
pray to the hookup gods
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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