hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
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Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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