he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
