i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
