Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
