The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
