when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
