The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Watching her eat just hurts me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
A bitchslap is in order.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
