Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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