singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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