...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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