Its about making memories worth repressing
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
