final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just pee around me
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Everclear isn't food dammit
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
