my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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