i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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