I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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