i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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