Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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