If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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