the day after is always just damage control
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
