but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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