i think my tv is drunk
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
