Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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