I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
