y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
