I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
