Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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