I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
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Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
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I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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