if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
