She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
