her vagine was all disorganized.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
