Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
