i'm lost and i look like a hooker
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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