and she was petting her beer can
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
