dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
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this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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