I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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