just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
