oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize