Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I am available for nakedness
You ruined the universe
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
