I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
