Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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