Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
