didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
