Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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