I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
