I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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