my phone cant type all the emotion im having
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
