My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
