3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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