SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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