the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize