He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
