He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
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