She announced her abortion via fbk
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just got carded by a ten year old.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
