Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
