so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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