Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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