We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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